Last year at this time, I was the most stressed out I had ever been. I consider it a miracle that I didn't deliver P-Nut prematurely, or miscarry her because I was so overstressed. Let me tell you why I was so stressed out.
In August of 2010, I had committed to serve as the leader of Bubba's Cub Scout Den as well as the Class Mom (Party Planner) for Curly Sue's preschool class. This meant a party for every holiday as well as an end-of-the-year beach party and graduation in June. All of this is in addition to my work at the parish, which called me from the house 2 nights a week and for an hour on Sunday mornings. The Boys were signed up to play flag football, which meant that between practices and games, football 5/7 days per week. And my husband wasn't coaching, so we were at the mercy of 2 someones else for scheduling practices (2 different teams). In September, I found out we were expecting P-Nut at the beginning of June, the week before Preschool graduation. In November, right before Thanksgiving, my niece came to stay with us for 6 months. I soon found I was seriously over-extended and over-committed, even after delegating the parties to many of the other parents in Curly Sue's class. Something had to give, and it was me.
Reflecting on all of this, I came to realize that I said Yes to too many things. The nice ladies called again from school at the end of this past summer asking wouldn't I please be the class mom for Bubba's class? It's 2nd grade, so it's not the same as Pre-K, less intense. Won't you do it? I said I needed to discuss it with my husband, who considered me a fool for entertaining the idea. "You're doing Scouts, we have a new baby, you're back to work. Are you crazy?" I answered no. And they found a new, wonderful mom to help. And the world did not stop turning.
The oven is broken, and we're on the verge of a kitchen remodel, so we haven't gotten it fixed. My toaster oven has never worked so hard. When the Boy Scouts asked for Court of Honor desserts, I bought bakery cookies from the local grocery store. And they were enjoyed by all. Christmas approached. Since my oven was broken, I couldn't torture myself about cookies that would never be baked in time, or staying up late baking and cleaning up cookie baking mess that would be a chore, another thing to cross off my to-do list. Christmas still came, and it was still Merry-even if I never got around to baking!
I recently came to realize that the things I HAVE TO DO is actually quite short. But I have taken many things on in the past that should give me joy, that should be wonderful, that quickly become chores because I have overcommitted myself.
Here's what can happen when we overcommit: The first thing that gets jettisoned is my prayer life. I stuff too much into my life, and work the Lord right out of it. Then, I put personal relationships on the back burner. I spent so much time doing things for the activities that my kids are involved in and actually forgot to SPEND TIME with my kids. Or when we are together, all I do is yell at them. Don't they know I'm busy decorating cupcakes for them? I don't have time to read a story or help with homework! And my husband? Isn't he that guy who sleeps on the other side of the bed? I think I see him every once in a while. Then I stop talking to my extended family and friends. But the principal at the school and I are BFFs because I see her more than I see anyone else.
I am embracing "No" this year. Any new activities will be vetted by this questionnaire:
1. Will this take time away from my relationship with God? Can I carve extra time out of my day to pray to bolster this fundamental relationship in my life to balance out this new responsibility?
2. Will this new activity be to God's greater glory, or am I saying yes to make myself look better? If I'm doing it so people can admire and wonder at my supermom-itude, then I had better say no. Pride goes before the fall.
3. Will this new activity get in the way of my relationship with my spouse? Can it bring us closer together? Will we have more time together? Will it make it harder for us to spend alone time with one another?
4. Will this new activity bring me closer to my children? Will it interrupt family meal times? Will they even remember this later? The best memories are the ones of times we spend together, interacting with each other. The times I dropped what I did to help my child are the ones that bolster our relationships and what they will remember. Conversely, the times when I put my child's needs aside to pursue something else will be their deepest negative memories.
5. WIll this activity bring me true joy, or will it drag me down into a festering pool of resentment?
What about the old, "If you don't do it then no one else will do it?" I just don't believe that at all. I don't believe that no one else will do it. I think that someone will step up. And so what if they don't? If the school doesn't have that program this year, maybe it will make someone step up and do it next year. If it's important to enough people, someone will step up and take charge of the program. It doesn't have to be me. The thing I will have to remember is that to every activity I say no to, it opens up another opportunity for someone else to say yes. Someone with fresh ideas and new energy-and a new BFF for the school principal. And the world will not stop turning.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Thursday, October 20, 2011
whatever and ever
Hi!
It's been a while. Had a baby. You know, life happened and then before you know it's it's been months and months since you've posted anything. Let me ease back in with some sound bites. In no particular order:
1. Sharecare, I do not think you want me for a wellness warrior right now. I am breastfeeding and any decrease in my caloric intake means I do not make enough milk for my little baby to eat. So I must continue to consume many chocolate products every day. I hope you understand.
2. I have decided that the baby's blog name will be P-nut. Because she's small. And I like the way that looks. It's kind of what I imagine Beyonce and Jay-Z will call their baby.
3. Here is a picture of P-Nut. We also refer to her as The Cuteness. As in, "Hold The Cuteness while I go make dinner."
4. P-Nut was our smallest baby by 2 pounds. She also was "failing to thrive," which basically meant she slept when she was supposed to be eating. But she's better now and wider awake and getting bigger, but she's still not that big (4 1/2 months old and 12 pounds. My other kids were 12 pounds at 2 months!). The picture above was from July.
5. Our pastor has allowed me to work from home while The Cuteness is still little. It's been nice to work from here. Got me a Google voice number for folks to call me on that the RE office can give out. Kind of cool.
More another day!
It's been a while. Had a baby. You know, life happened and then before you know it's it's been months and months since you've posted anything. Let me ease back in with some sound bites. In no particular order:
1. Sharecare, I do not think you want me for a wellness warrior right now. I am breastfeeding and any decrease in my caloric intake means I do not make enough milk for my little baby to eat. So I must continue to consume many chocolate products every day. I hope you understand.
2. I have decided that the baby's blog name will be P-nut. Because she's small. And I like the way that looks. It's kind of what I imagine Beyonce and Jay-Z will call their baby.
3. Here is a picture of P-Nut. We also refer to her as The Cuteness. As in, "Hold The Cuteness while I go make dinner."
4. P-Nut was our smallest baby by 2 pounds. She also was "failing to thrive," which basically meant she slept when she was supposed to be eating. But she's better now and wider awake and getting bigger, but she's still not that big (4 1/2 months old and 12 pounds. My other kids were 12 pounds at 2 months!). The picture above was from July.
5. Our pastor has allowed me to work from home while The Cuteness is still little. It's been nice to work from here. Got me a Google voice number for folks to call me on that the RE office can give out. Kind of cool.
More another day!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
7 Quick Takes Friday: Easter Egg edition
With many thanks to the lovely Jennifer of Conversion Diary.
1. First: my hair because I KNOW you're dying to know how THAT all turned out. Saturday, I got an appointment with my friend who does hair at her house. I walked in and she told me, "I was all ready give you a hard time and to tell you it's not that bad. It really IS that bad." She said that there are some colorists who will never in their whole careers see hair as stained as mine was.
2. It took 3 or 4 bleach treatments to get the hair to go from strawberry (the actual color of a berry-not the pretty red-blonde color seen on people) to people-hair-colored-red. We were going to try and get it to the point where we could dye it a light brown color, but it would have meant a 4th or 5th whole-head bleaching. She said, "You know, we could just put some blonde highlights in and it would really be pretty."
3. Since it was 11 PM and I had been in her chair for THREE HOURS I told her to go for it.
4. Now I look less like Strawberry Shortcake and more like Vitamin C (only my hair is red and blonde, not red and yellow).
5. Remember the Graduation Song by Vitamin C? No? Here's the video:
6. The hair looks nice. I have gotten a lot of compliments on it. It's definitely bolder than I would have chosen, but I like it. It's very Spring.
7. On Sunday, I was wearing a pink shirt. Scott told me I looked so nice with my new hair and my pink shirt. I said thank you. Then, "You know, with the pink shirt, and the vibrant hair, I look like an Easter Egg." And I am OK with that.
From this Easter Egg to you, Happy Easter!
1. First: my hair because I KNOW you're dying to know how THAT all turned out. Saturday, I got an appointment with my friend who does hair at her house. I walked in and she told me, "I was all ready give you a hard time and to tell you it's not that bad. It really IS that bad." She said that there are some colorists who will never in their whole careers see hair as stained as mine was.
2. It took 3 or 4 bleach treatments to get the hair to go from strawberry (the actual color of a berry-not the pretty red-blonde color seen on people) to people-hair-colored-red. We were going to try and get it to the point where we could dye it a light brown color, but it would have meant a 4th or 5th whole-head bleaching. She said, "You know, we could just put some blonde highlights in and it would really be pretty."
3. Since it was 11 PM and I had been in her chair for THREE HOURS I told her to go for it.
4. Now I look less like Strawberry Shortcake and more like Vitamin C (only my hair is red and blonde, not red and yellow).
5. Remember the Graduation Song by Vitamin C? No? Here's the video:
6. The hair looks nice. I have gotten a lot of compliments on it. It's definitely bolder than I would have chosen, but I like it. It's very Spring.
7. On Sunday, I was wearing a pink shirt. Scott told me I looked so nice with my new hair and my pink shirt. I said thank you. Then, "You know, with the pink shirt, and the vibrant hair, I look like an Easter Egg." And I am OK with that.
From this Easter Egg to you, Happy Easter!
Friday, April 15, 2011
7 quick takes: Damn, baby, what'd you do to your hair edition
1. I tried coloring my hair today. The developing creme didn't mix all the way in with the color. This means my hair is streaky, patchy, and the color of Strawberry Shortcake's IN SOME PLACES. I'm currently waiting for my hairdresser to call me back to see when she can fit me in to fix it. 2. Our Confirmation retreat is tomorrow. It is possible that I will be wearing a baseball cap during the retreat. 3. In confession this week, I confessed that I have been struggling with the same sin for the last month. The priest asked me to think about that the Lord is trying to show me about myself as regards this sin. 4. I have concluded that this sin is directly traceable to my trying to exercise my own will in a certain area of my life, and not God's. 5. It now occurs to me that this hair color faux pas may be one of the many ways God is trying to humble me further so I can more readily accept His will. 6. I really had better get on the stick with the accepting God's Will part. This being humbled part is humbling. 7. The most important lessons are the hardest ones to learn. Please visit the lovely Jennifer for more 7 Quick Takes.
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